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Dear Celeb, The Fans Own Majority Shares In Your Life

by Lovine Mboya
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I am amused by the response Akothee gave her fans when they harshly criticized her ‘catsuit’(ahem, not swimming costume lovelies).

Akothee blamed her fans’ negative comments on their lack of ‘knowledge and exposure’, saying,

I don’t blame you because the closest you have been to a pool is on the Internet!’ Of course, her fans were outraged, and flooded her timeline with comments like, ‘You don’t respect us and our opinion doesn’t count! You asked us for our opinion about your dress and when we spoke out you went on to insult us.’

So this is it dear celebrities, our opinion runs your life.

No, don’t roll your eyes and lie to yourself that you are in total control.

We are the majority shareholders.

We would like to let you know, as team #Mafans, that when you do good, and ‘good’ here is what we approve of, we will praise you.

We will type beautiful messages on your wall, make your photo our profile pictures to show support.

Heck, we will even create parody Facebook and Twitter accounts just so we can feel closest to your persona.

We will make you a star, and advertisers targeting us will look for you because of the immeasurable love we shower upon you.

We will make you king and queen and build a throne for you and make ourselves guards of your castle. You will be happy when we do this.

Your head will swell with pride and arrogance. You will even start making unfounded claims about having ‘haters’, and thank God for your fans(us) because we are your warriors against your enemies.

Here’s the catch;

We lifted you up, down we shall bring you when we want to.

Let me explain to you the easiest way to get your fans turning against you; Communicate to/with them in a way that shows you expect nothing but tongues licking your boots.

Tell us we don’t have rights to express what we really think of you unless it’s an opinion that work in your favor, something that will feed your ego.

As I said, we are the majority shareholder. You are flying in private jets and splashing photos on social media that depict a good life because we listen to your music, we talk about you, we flood your timeline with a million likes and comments.

We have made you who you are.

Nah, don’t even start the ‘it’s my hard work’ line. Do you know the average total number of people who work hard in this country that we don’t even care about?

But we chose you.

This means, dear celebrity, that if we don’t like what you are wearing, you need to apologize to us and blame it on your designer’s poor taste, then get another outfit.

Of course, you have to ask us first, before taking 100 photos with your other outfit.

We also have a say on the type of car you drive, how you will behave, in public or private (otherwise make sure no one with a smartphone is near you), who you date, what you eat, where you poop.

We decide if today you will breathe in peace or not.

If you wouldn’t want a multitude of strangers to have this much power over you, then;

  1. Don’t keep asking #Mafans of their opinion every time you post something
  2. Don’t post anything
  3. Don’t be a celebrity
  4. Be a celebrity but stay down low…

Otherwise, you will successfully fail in trying to tame us.

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