A journalist wrote an article attempting to explain how we can tell if the person we are dating is serious or just acting the part. I disagreed with most part of the article, because for one, I know most people can be very good pretenders, and trying to tell if what they have with you is genuine or not would be similar to trying to find a needle in a haystack.
On the flip-side, I have seen women put the men in their lives under tests, in a bid to try and prove if these men were ‘serious’ and in for the long run. Of course the men played along, passed the test, ate the cookie, and walked out the door, leaving the woman angry, bitter, frustrated and heartbroken.
Sometime back girls would say if you made him wait for 90 days before having sex and he waits, then he is definitely serious about you, and is the one! The man would wait for those 90 days, hit it, and run. Then you are left wondering, but why did he have to wait that long for it if he didn’t want to stay anyway? Girl, he was never there.
We continue putting our partners to the test hoping they ‘pass’ and in turn prove to us that they really want to stay. Truth is, if someone really wants to be with you, a test won’t be necessary. They will act like it, talk like it, be it. If they don’t want to be with you, no matter how many tests you put them through and they ‘pass’, they are bound to walk way someday. Soon. As soon as they are sure they have what they were looking for.
Allow yourself to only accept those relationships that are genuine and true, without giving people a chance to wear sheepskin in the name of ‘passing’ tests you put for them.
Show people how to treat you by treating yourself right, telling them how you want to be treated, and living your talk. If this is not reciprocated, let them go. They are not ready. No amount of tests will make the stay if they don’t intend to.