Have you ever been in a situation where, say, at work, you had issues with a colleague, and this was forwarded to the boss to solve and from the start?
You knew nothing was going to be ‘solved’ because the colleague is the boss’s favorite? So on the day of ‘solving’ the matter, you walk into the boss’ office, resigning your case to fate and luck, knowing beforehand the direction it will take.
It is worse if it is a case between you and a family member, and on the day the matter is to be discussed, the meeting is opened with insults and accusations against you by the ‘panel’ that was to solve the case.
So it is your word against theirs. You, on one side of the courtroom, and everybody else present on the other side. Including the judges. Tricky, huh?
Here’s what you do when you sense you are just about to fight a losing battle:
1. As everyone else shouts and screams and hurls insults and goes down low, stay composed and sober and calm.
Do not go down with them. Do not bend when they do. Keep your head up, your mind opens, your tempers down, and your mouth shut. Say nothing, until all are done tearing you apart.
2. When you finally get to speak, simply apologize for everything.
Both the true accusations and the lies they have spoken. Do not bother trying to defend yourself as you’ll be giving them a chance to attack you further, anger you more, and stress you. Do not give them this power.
3. Throughout the ‘solving’ issues session, realize you are solo in this battle.
Do not start a fight you might not be able to handle. Do not start any fight at all. Act stupid.
4. When the victimization is over and the victimizers have had their fun, and it’s time to go now, walk away and go be awesome.
Do not sit down and fret over the things that were said, whether true or false, the things you wish you said.
Do not think about the situation at all. Go on and be awesome at what you do, and who you are. As we’ve said, act stupid.
5. Never ask for, or stress over apologies that were not offered.
If you feel someone wronged you in any way that led to the issue, and already the ‘panel’ had taken a stand, and so you still are the bad one, just let it go.
Never frown when you think of the things the other party also told you, or did, just let them continue sitting on their high pedestal of righteousness and let karma do her job.
This is it, there are times we will wrong each other, and solving such issues requires a fair panel, to ensure both parties are heard.
If you ever feel this is not the case, let the people have their way, especially if it’s family.
Trust me when I tell you your peace of mind is way more important than going round and round fighting people.
It will drain the life out of you. Let them have their way, so you can have your peace.
In the end, you win.