Let me tell you a story:

Back in campus, one time a friend invited us for a house party at her friend’s house, you know those parties where the organizers are all boys and they suddenly remember a party can’t be certified as one if there are no girls? Right.

So the girls are sent special invitations, which is a text message that says, ‘Kuna bash kwa Manu. Kuna drinks. Kam na kina Cate.’

Because ‘me and kina Cate’ don’t have plans, we say, why not? Off we go to Manu’s!

Little do we know that Manu ordered a cake, laced with weed, popularly known as ‘weed cake’, and will serve this to us, without our knowledge.

To cut a long story short, one of my friends spent the night in a hospital, screaming and crying saying she thinks she is dying. That she can see death. That she feels she is kinda out of this world, in a deathly way.

Never again.

So, my loves, here are a few tips to help you stay sane when you are called for an impromptu house party;

1. Carry your own drinks

You can hand them over to the party host as gifts or something, but make sure you are served YOUR drinks that you came with.

2. Eat at home to your fill before going to people’s parties

This will help you avoid biting into every edible thing at the party, and even better, will help keep the alcohol down! No one loves a drunk who soils their carpets with vomit.

3. Don’t taste the drinks in your friend’s glasses

They probably know what it is they are imbibing, but you don’t. Do not accept explanations such as, ‘it’s only whiskey with a little vodka’.

A sip of that concoction could be the beginning of your blackout.

4. Stay alert

People put things in other people’s drinks and foods when the recipients are not watching. Keep your eyes every so often on your drink.

The most common thing that friends do is pour a little vodka in your whiskey, or something else to make your drink ‘stronger’. Stay on guard.

5. Lastly, listen to the message your body sends you

If you feel having any more of the drink, or food might result in you dancing azonto on top of the table, then go home you are drunk.

Don’t start proclaiming how you are a pro and you normally drink three jugs of beer. We have heard that type of talk before. It happens just before the noisemaker pees on themselves or starts fighting the host.

Very important, always have a designated driver. Even if you will take a cab home, have someone with you who is sober enough to remember the directions to your house.

Time and again, we have seen Kenyans make nasty comments about our own Kenyan music.

I usually go through such comments willing my fingers not to type out thoughts running through my mind as I read the opinions of the ‘high and mighty’, who know what ‘good’ music is and believe what’s good to them is good for us all.

One Ian Duncan said something I will remember for a very long time, ‘Our music may be trash, but so is Nigerian and South African music.

Only difference is:

Instead of bashing their own, they support them. I mean, what is ‘Skelewu’? What is ‘Ychukucha’. What is ‘Khona’? Get over it and start supporting your own.’

Amen Ian! Amen.

We buy, subscribe to, and listen to a lot of trash music from other countries, music that we feel is superior to our own because their primary fans in their countries support them!

They push for their own, sell their own, market it to one and all. Nigerians, South Africans, Ugandans work so hard to ensure the rest of Africa move to their beats!

How many Nigerian songs do you listen to and love but have no idea what the artist is saying? How many from South Africa? How many beats from Uganda do you listen to that have no real content?

I am not saying that we should excuse the small number of Kenyan artists who might not be doing justice to the potential they hold, but again we should not be our own enemy!

We cannot be constantly communicating negativity to our Kenyan artists and expect them to grow! We cannot make them feel we hate them and hate their music and don’t care for the hard work they put in and expect them to blossom!

We do not bring people up by pinning them down!

What saddens me even more is many of the people who harshly criticize Kenyan music are tu-small musicians whose music has never seen the light of day.

A few videos on a YouTube channel with two subscribers and you want to tell us how much you know of good music. Get some fans first! If we don’t listen to you, we don’t care what you have to say about Nameless, Collo, Nyash, Femi One, Octopizzo, Sauti Sol, etc.

You may argue that fame and popularity are not the defining factors of success in music, but I ask, what is the end goal? Who are you making your music for? What do you intend to achieve?

If your targeted audience does not feel your vibe, why are you having problems with people who are satisfying the needs of their targeted audiences?

Go make music and listen to it with your homeboyz, mjichoche vile mta make it, but know until you get our attention, you don’t matter in the music industry.

My playlist is 80 percent Kenyan music and will continue to be so. Salute to all those who work hard at their hustles, without trying to look better by bringing another down

This is me so many times, falling in love with movie stars and celebrities I see on TV, and dark, handsome, bearded male models on magazine covers, and heroes in novels, and the taken ones, and anybody I can’t get my hands on in many years to come.

My friends know that I am pretty much a straightforward person and if I like you, I’ll only pretend I don’t so that I get the thrill of being chased after.

You know, the dates, and chocolates, and bottles of wine over good food, and sweet text messages, and phone calls in the wee hours of the morning, and- Oh, dear!

Otherwise, I might as well walk up to you and say something that will give away everything I feel. Which rarely happens because, as I’ve said, I feel things for people out of reach.

My condition is livable with though, seeing as this is where all the excitement lies. Nothing beats the thrill of chasing after something you are very unlikely to get!

Even if it’s just chasing after it in your mind. Or getting tips from Power of the Cat by Kara King.

Those of us who find this insane will say yes to Mr.T the moment he hits on us because why not? Isn’t it better to have half a loaf of bread than no bread at all?

Is it not better to be with the man you feel nothing for than keep on dreaming of people who don’t even know your name?

Let me tell you my truth, I would rather ‘kula kwa macho’ the bread I can’t have than have the bread I have never desired and won’t eat anyway.

Of what benefit is having something you will not consume? What use? Where is the value added? Si I give it away to someone who has a use for it?

I don’t know how many of you are able to fake love, or how you do it, but maybe it happens where there are needs the recipient of the fake love is able to satisfy, or maybe it’s pressure to fit in and be seen as ‘having someone’.

Or maybe it is because so few of us believe in the existence of true, genuine love. Or maybe we are tired, and just trying to get by.

If what I feel is genuine and excites my heart, whether it lasts a day, or a week or forever, whether you reachable or not, mine or not, I will enjoy it while it lasts.

Where is the crime?

A girl in Tana River County had to write her KCSE English paper from the hospital, after having a baby through a caesarean section, and later developed complications and had to be taken back to the theater.

Now this girl’s story is a clear tale of strength and is one of the many stories that depict shocking circumstances/situations some women have been through while having a baby or trying to have one.

In Chicago, a young girl Sara Conell suffered two failed pregnancies, and when she tried having a baby one more time, she learned that she was no longer ovulating.

Her own mother Christina (61 years old)offered to serve as her surrogate. The mother (grandmother, no?), had to undergo a series of tests and doctors declared her clear and able to perform the task.

Believe it or not, a baby was born to Sara! Yeah, just like Sara of the Bible.

In the Netherlands, a 12-year-old girl on a field trip started complaining of severe stomach cramps. Emergency services were called and upon examining the girl, they realized she was actually in the process of giving birth to a baby!

Not even the mother had known or noticed, throughout the nine months, that the girl had been pregnant!

You think that is crazy enough? Well, probably because you haven’t read of the 23-year-old girl in Romania, who is a grandmother!

At 23! How? Her daughter, who is 11, got pregnant and gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. She is said to be the world’s youngest granny.

Amber Miller from Illinois gave birth to her baby just after finishing the Bank of America Chicago Marathon!

Amber’s doctor gave her permission to join other athletes in the race, and at that time, she was 39 weeks pregnant.

Her plan was that she runs the first half of the marathon, then walks the second half with her husband.

Run and walk she did, but just after finishing the last mile, Amber’s baby was more than ready to join the world!

I would love to hear your stories of unbelievable situations you, a friend, or even a stranger had to go through trying to have their baby!

Drop us your tale in the comment section below!